Basket.

I hate Japanese food. Hate it, hate it, hate it. Absolutely detest it.

Just got back from a said lunch featuring the aforementioned cuisine (if it is not too much of an insult to call it so, "sewage" would be a more apt term) and I am more convinced than ever that anyone who serves food like that should be summarily executed. And they must be hanged, drawn and quartered. Their remains will proceed to be desecrated and never, ever given a proper burial so that they may never ever either be reincarnated, or go to a blissful afterlife. They must suffer great penance for their sins.

I swear I am never stepping into a goddamn Japanese restaurant ever again, and especially not this one, unless I'm returning to raze it to the ground for crimes against humanity. The... the poison they serve is not for earthly consumption. A Ugandan child who has eaten nothing but tree bark and grass for about eight months would turn up his/her nose at it. I guess we ought to be glad the fucking Japanese don't provide UN food aid often.

I do not understand why people like stupid Japanese restaurants. The portions are small and the food is expensive and disgusting. A superb combination, indeed. The worst thing is, I had to choke it down and pretend to like it, so as not to offend my cousins who were paying. Somehow I accomplished it, with the aid of copious amounts of soy sauce (which was not particularly good either).

So, what raw sewage did they serve? Fish. Lots of it. And there is no goddamn bloody fucking food I hate more. The awful taste, the treacherous maze of bones and the slimy, puke-worthy skin combine to make anytime I eat fish a most abhorrent experience. Raw octopus, I managed. Raw fish, I slathered in soy sauce and managed. Cooked cod? FUCK. FUCK FUCK FUCK. I wanted to take the entire steamboat thingy and throw it in the waitress' face. Then I would carve hunks of flesh from her prostrate body and roast it on the hot coals and it would taste better than the shit they served us.

It was so horrid even the noodles (udon) sucked bad. I thought, ok, noodles, that's my saviour. Not by a long fucking shot. They were soft and starchy, exactly the opposite of how I like my noodles. Yet they were indeed head-and-shoulders above the rest of the filth they actually dare to call "food".

Now even the tea was bad ok? It tasted burnt. To me, that is... maybe that is the way it is supposed to taste; you never know with this kind of "quality".

Luckily the restaurant was less than a quarter full at peak lunch period. I hope they close down soon and everyone working there gets retrenched. Then they will proceed to get all their benefits and life savings cheated by conmen selling magic stones, and will end their lives either by suicide in abandoned shophouses or ridden with festering bed-sores in nursing homes in future. And they will deserve every bit of it for working in such a vile institution. But most importantly, there will be one less Japanese restaurant/cesspool in Singapore and at least some people will be saved from the untreated effluent that certain human beings deign to call "edible".

What was bad though, was that what other customers there were were all Japanese fuckfaces. Now I never have made it a secret that I detest Japan. I hate the people, the culture, the country and the language. I hate how they dress, how they speak and how they walk. I hate how fucking idiots worship Japanese pop culture. I am glad it is in an economic malaise and it is facing a precipitiously-declining birth rate. I hope the Japanese people become extinct eventually and the islands of Japan are converted into a dumping ground for the world's nuclear waste. That would be a much better use for them than of current.

So, bad (understatement of the fucking century) food, indifferent service and fuckfaces as fellow customers... what more can one ask? To get the bloody hell out of there so I can wash my mouth and entire digestive tract out with concentrated acid and eradicate all traces of the meal. It was utterly... agh! NEVER AGAIN.