Basket.

I annually hit a state of mind where useful work becomes an alien concept to me and my motivation simply falls off a very steep cliff. Some years this is accompanied by a period where I feel completely wretched. This year it isn't, but it's still come at a rather inconvenient time, because deadlines are soon about to cluster and that is one of the nastier experiences of school life.

I am at a loss to explain this yearly occurrence. I'm sure this is not the first time I've posted about it. Somehow though, for some weeks or even months during a given year, I just cease wanting to get anything useful done. Instead, I while away time at other frivolous (though not always useless) pursuits, all the time feeling that I have to get down to it but all the time unable to summon the motivation required. In the end I usually end up feeling guilty about wasting time.

It's a very frustrating feeling. I'm caught in a bind and I'm puzzled as to why this occurs every single year, although at different times. Somehow every time I recover from it, without quite noticing how and when, and everything is set to rights again. But it is always a difficult period to get through because I need to meet my deadlines by sheer willpower. It's either that, or I end up feeling really guilty. It's not a good situation and this frustration with myself usually also brings on writer's block, which is a decidedly bad thing with about 3 essays due within days of each other in 3 weeks' time.

I'm even having trouble stringing paragraphs together here. I used to be able to sit down and type for 2 hours enormous entries at the end of which I literally felt a burden lift, but now I've found I can no longer do that. It doesn't flow. I need to pause and think far too much. I can't put a finger on the exact problem. Is one supposed to feel bored with piles of work waiting to be done? Either way, essays are not going to write themselves, are they.