Basket.

Today the New Paper brought the news that Singapore has been rated as the 3rd-best place to live in Asia by the United Nations. So, guess who the media chooses to go and interview for their opinions on the matter? Foreign expatriates. Well, I suppose that makes perfect sense, I mean, when you want an accurate gauge of sentiment on a certain country, the best people to ask are those who were not born here, certainly not raised here and are only present in the nation because they or some blood relative got a cushy job posting.

Seriously, that's ridiculous. On the one hand, Singapore a good place to live in? Fucking bullshit. On the other, it seems that foreign expatriates know more about us than we know about ourselves! Wow! The media certainly is going out of its way to suck American cock, isn't it. First, the unilateral and completely illegal (in a sense) declaration that they will not show photographs of beheadings. Now this. Spotlight is always on the expats, in a local newspaper. That does not make the least sense to me, but apparently it does to the powers that be.

On another point, obviously they would think it is a good place to live in. After all, Singapore is one of the safest places in the world in terms of violent crime and crime in general. Nor is political upheaval likely any time soon. So whatever expats that get posted here must be counting their blessings, that they didn't get sent to Phnom Penh or something. It's a cushy job posting. They come here with fat salaries, are ass-kissed by the government, partake of our delicious local food and screw our local women, many of whom are all too glad to pander to the whims of one whose skin is just the right shade of pink. Heck, if I had a life like that, I wouldn't mind if it was the 18th level of Hades, I would say it is a fantastic place to live in too.

Somewhat related to all this is the Australian commission of sorts who recently visited Singapore, took a look at a few schools and said that our education system was "the way to go". They can hardly be blamed, admittedly, having come into contact with pre-school kids and government apparatchiks either unaware of the situation or unwilling to get themselves into some serious bullshit. And so the charade that our education system is in any way "world-class" continues. To know just how fucked up it is, you simply have to go through it, and understand the amazing numbers of things asked from us students. The unbearably elitist climate and stiflingly competitive society the PAP has created.

But the West sees none of this, of course. Foreigners from the West, especially Americans, seem to look upon Singapore as some mystical Shangri-La where this (usually) benevolent God-king rules over a bunch of quiet, subservient citizens, keeping them under control via laws that prescribe the death penalty for chewing gum. A utopia of well-mannered but politically naive and emotionally pure souls. It is as if they are naturalists studying a whole new species, such is the way they approach us with that wide-eyed sense of wonder. Some of the prose in a recent article about RJC, from the Wall Street Journal, positively resembles the commentary in an episode of Earthvisions (to access said article, visit the RI website and click on Hot News). Not that most Americans would even be able to locate Singapore on a bloody world map, of course. "Your English is very good!" Fuck you, it is jolly better than yours, wanker. Like the asshole who gleefully pointed out Singapore's lower literacy rate (93%) against the US (97%) and refused to accept it when I told him that was due to our largely illiterate older generation, and showed him proof. What a fucking idiot.

At the end of the day, I don't think anywhere in Asia should actually belong on a list of best places to live. Certainly not Singapore.