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The headline for today's edition of The New Paper really caught my eye. Apparently, there are a few bold new changes that have been suggested to better our education system. Intrigued, I immediately flipped the page to find out exactly what daring new changes are going to be introduced, nay, can possibly be introduced, to an already world-class system.

The article failed to disappoint. I was very impressed by the innovative and intrepid changes brought up, one of which was "reduce the number of subjects". "Why not assess the students by project work instead of tests and examinations?" Wow, we are crossing brave new frontiers here, people. The idea that we should reduce the number of examinations and subjects is not a banal idea that has been brought up for years and years already without the MOE doing anything about it. No, it isn't at all. It is fresh and original. It is the brightest new brainwave since sliced bread and mindmaps.

The article also demonstrated conclusively to me how such changes will undoubtedly aid our young in establishing themselves in a world that is constantly in flux, to meet the demands of a knowledge-based world economy and to maintain Singapore's competitiveness amidst a region that is constantly improving and developing. As such, it gave me great new hope not only for change that will further improve our already-sublime education policy, but also to ensure our "little red dot's" secure place among the top industrial, economic and technological powers of the world.

In other words, the changes and their effects are neither bold, nor going to be beneficial.

I have always wondered, do the people at MOE lie to themselves and the nation, or do they really believe the drivel they spew out? Do they really think Project Work is a great success? Do they really believe the new, shamefully ridiculous slogan "Teach Less, Learn More"? Or do they just go about their daily work with a sense of resignation and a "Don't ask any questions, I'm just here for the money/to serve my bond/because this is the safest job in such dire economic times/no one else is going to ever hire me?" Which is it, exactly? Because it is difficult to fathom how they can continue to simultaneously introduce initiatives that can only harm students and teachers and believe that these initiatives actually benefit them and the nation at large. Then again, maybe not, because Singapore is basically one huge bureaucracy with four million metaphorical hamsters running metaphorical little exercise wheels in metaphorical little cages to generate metaphorical benefits for a metaphorical "benevolent" master.

The article actually introduced four changes. I shall list them.

1) Reduce the syllabi and/or number of subjects.
2) Have only principals that are married and with families.
3) Include scouting as part of the academic curriculum (ie all students become boy scouts)
4) Overhaul the Chinese syllabus completely, such that it becomes modular and there are no tests and examinations for it. Instead, students will learn about Chinese culture, history and the language itself, and no pupil will be left behind.

I am in no position to comment on number two, personally. But the rest...

1) Sounds good on paper. But to replace it, guess what the "experienced educator with over 30 years experience" suggested? That is right, P-R-O-J-E-C-T W-O-R-K. Has any eleven letters strung together in a particular arrangement provoked a more potent mixture of fear, dread and barely-controllable rage within the very soul of a group of people, namely those who have had the ill-fortune to have to do Project Work as an A-Level subject? No, this is not going to work, at all. There will just be more stress placed on students and teachers alike, because Project Work assessment is not only more subjective (presentation judgings), but can be just as rigid as any written examination out there. Remember the swathes of forms, reports, drafts, surveys etc we had to fill in and hand up by this and this deadline, in exactly this and this manner? Give me a goddamn written examination any day, any time, over that frustrating experience. At least with that, you know exactly what is required of you. Here, you just come up against a brick wall of bureaucracy, or drown in the ocean of paperwork. One has to be a real cretin to expected a rigidly structured system to encourage creativity. But that is exactly what MOE believes will happen.

The solution? Just cut the goddamn syllabus. Period. Reduce the number of A-Level subjects, nationwide, to three. Nay, limit it stringently to three, with those who wish to take four having to get special permission that is only granted very, very selectively, but leave S-Papers open. However, let S-Papers not affect anything, at all, so that those taking would do it out of interest. Let people study what they want to study. That, now, that, would be a bold new change, not this watered-down bullshit.

3) I can only use expletive to describe this suggestion. Plainly put, this is a fucking stupid idea. The Boy Scouts are an imperialistic organisation, brought here by a British imperialist in the good old days when the sun never set on the British Empire. They have no place, no tradition, in Singapore, and attempting to create one is foolish. if this happens, it will be another "Project Work" - more burden and pressure on the students and teachers, without any gain whatsoever.

4) This is incredibly naive. It won't work. The flow to Perth will continue. Too many question the very need to even study Chinese at all. For years, I hav accepted that, as Chinese, we should know our own language, but now I am beginning to question why Singapore students must learn Chinese, or a so-called "mother tongue" at all. We are only ethnically Chinese, and far removed from China. Who still feels an attachment to China, hands up. No one, I wager. Generations and generations ago, we were Chinese. Now, we are Singaporean. If the government is striving so hard to create a "uniquely Singaporean" identity, why cling to these remnants of a culture that hundreds of years ago ceased to be ours?

If you really want a Singaporean identity, stop suppressing Singlish. It is a language, and our language. Of course it isn't good English - it isn't English at all.

Changes. Bold? New? Hardly. Workable? No. Then again, this is none of my business. MOE can continue fucking up for all I care.